Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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