Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
