All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
