it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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