I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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