Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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