Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
