And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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