I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
vagina is talking i cant
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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