you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
