Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
