i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
