So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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