Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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