A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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