Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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