she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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