it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
