The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
