what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
