i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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