I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
