he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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