EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
