oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
