you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
