So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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