Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize