Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Enjoy the penises
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