Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
