if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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