perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
