What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
