A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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