How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
