i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
