Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
