Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
