genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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