what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
