Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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