Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
