Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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