I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
