First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I look better un-naked...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
