did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
