thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
