I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
