Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
