whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize