some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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