dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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