If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
