is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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