If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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