After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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