TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
