girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
