Kiss
Puke
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
