return my video game
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize