She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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