Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
