What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she peed on how many people?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
