Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
