Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
