God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
