now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
