Banned from zoo.
Again?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
