it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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