I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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