i barfeds in our rink
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
