i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
