; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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