There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
