I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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