I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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