Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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