I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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